this, by far, has been the subject i exerted full effort on. i am honestly going to tell you that i am just getting by college and passing my subjects without the help of divine intervention.

however, this case is very different from the rest. i’ve been calling out the names of every god and deity i can remember just to help me pass this subject.

i won’t settle for anything but a pass. because, failing to do so would mean an additional year to my student career. now, who wants that?

i just want this subject to be done and over with. but, we still have a paper and presentation to prepare. however, to do that, we should have an exam average of 60 to continue with the course.

i can do this!

“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”

the first of which is the breakdown of my computer which translated into lost files and programs.

which is a big “OH NO!” if you ask me. the road towards the end of the semester is almost near and i my computer crashes down on me. what about my papers? what about my files?

pero, the good thing is that i have the will to back them up. uh-huh. i am being a better computer user. ever since i got rejected from the inhinyero interview last year by not knowing how to back-up my important files.

anyway, im still not over having to share a computer with my siblings, again. i was happy even though the cpu was just noisy. at least, it was mine.

but, as i know, i have to wait until the next one comes.

how long the wait will be, i don’t know.

“The instinct of ownership is fundamental in man’s nature” -William James

just this afternoon, before my classes start, i ordered my “lunch” at the local cafeteria. i finished what i was eating when i realized that i haven’t even paid.

but then, i instantly said to those i am with that i better pay for good karma.

that is when i realized that i did the thing for the wrong reason.

often, our actions are influenced by thoughts that are not appropriate. or we do things for all the wrong reasons. an example of which is personal gain. will personal gain ever replace social responsibility? i don’t think so.

i just want to say is that we better take a closer look at why we do things. and maybe, we’ll have change in the way we do them.

A good heart is better than all the heads in the world. -Edward Lytton

i completely followed what i’ve written in my planner. this is he first time i’ve done that – shading all the to-do baxoes for the day.

and, i am also happy to say that i’ve done the things worth doing and minimize all the time i’ve wasted by just surfing the internet and other acivities that take up my time but provide no productivity at all.

anyway, i hope to keep this up. i may be in good mood after the movie last night. i look forward to having more of these days in the future.

first things first, they say. priorities is another word. i’ve done them. and, continuing this is a feat i would like to achieve.

to add to this entry:

i’ve also planned my summer. there are these two psych subjects that i’ve been wanting to enroll in. and, i think that this is a great opportunity for me to take them because i realized that enrolling in Psych subjects during the regular semester is hard. it is because that they give priority to psychology majors and other students who are required to take those courses.

i want this so badly.

the two subjects are Principles of Learning and Industrial Psychology. both of which are very useful in the event that i will pursue my career choice. and, as i take them i will gear myself towards becoming a great person in that field.

i hope that i do get them. i will pray that i do.

“Efficiency is doing better what is already being done.” -Peter F. Drucker

moreover, it is more frustrating because the exam is about a required course entitled stochastic processes in engineering.

what stochastic means is something i can’t explain at the moment. or maybe i could but  i won’t explain because it can only lead to things like “ooohs” and “aaahs”.

i was studying in front of the computer because what i have is the soft copy of the reference materials and that i am too lazy to have to face the book. while studying, i was surfing the internet and decided to change my status in facebook.

i was too tired of the subject that i wanted to rest for a bit. actually, nothing was retained nor acquired the whole time i was in front of the computer. the things i knew were stock knowledge of previous courses i’ve taken which are related to the said subject.

anyway, there is this person that i’ve added just because i have a crush on, and we do not necessarily know each other personally, messaged me regarding this status. i won’t go into details but i really felt joy inside of me and i decided to call of the log-off-and-just-sleep plan. it was real awkward at first, but hey, i wasn’t the one who made the first move.

i went to sleep full of hope in answering the said exam even though i learned nothing from my “study session”. i wasn’t even worried  that i didn’t know more than half of the whole exam coverage. but, due to more responsible friends, i got all that i needed to know and all the formula i needed to use in order to fully answer the exam.

i was even proud of myself of going through the exam without having a breakdown. or crying. wait, i didn’t even thought of crying.

anyway, it was not as depressing as the last exam i had with the course. but it really frustrates me because i couldn’t think of other ways of trying to understand the subject matter.

to end the day, i was found, along with some friends, at a certain victory party where i “met” some people. i wasn’t ready to mingle just yet. when it was time to go home, the group decided to catch the latest movie, You Changed My Life.

it wasn’t corny nor jologs, IMO. it was likable, funny, light and a bit, ok, very, cheesy.

cheesy as it may, it was still very likable because it was as true as it can be. it can relate to different people and there were not really unbelievable shiz in the story.

it really touched me in the sense that what the story upholds is true.

all in all, it was the perfect way to end a disastrous weekend. disastrous was a bit overkill but it really represents the point i want to make.

i look forward to a better week ahead especially with an invitation of a volleyball game from co-engineering varsity friends. and, more facebook chats.

How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself – so always think positively.  -Norman Vincent Peale

the writer wrote that there are 8 truths about life. and, i believe that i needed to know and appreciate every one of them.

• Friends Come and Go

i know. but, the problem with me is that i am so passive that i never get to mingle with other people without my circle of friends.

i know that there are plenty of opportunities for me to meet new people but i never get to take them.

i mean, its like i fear that other people won’t accept me as i am like my friends do.

• You Won’t Always Get What You Want

this might be the hardest thing we have got to remember. there will always, and i mean always, room for you to be frustrated with things that happen to you.

i’ve got to learnt to accept every situation and that there is always a reason for everything. a silver lining for every dark cloud, that is.

• Many People Will Love You and Many Will Not

i’ve learned to accept this. this made me realize that not all of your efforts is always appreciated. sometimes, it may seem to be arrogant or all-knowing. but, there are also people who will love you for who you are and that is what’s important.

also, there are people who will oppose you and the best answer to their opposition is to prove them wrong. and to prove them that you are worth the things they think you are not.

• Nobody Can Transform Your Life Like You Can

i’ve been procrastinating. i want to do things and i do not find myself doing them. i want change in my life and i want it now.

it’s like what i’ve been reading in the habits of highly effective people, do first things first. i need to have a more steady list of priorities. and, i better follow them.

• You Are Going to Fail

this is something i’m not afraid of. i know that there can only be learning experiences and never moments of failure.

you will only fail when you cannot find the strength to continue on when you know you’ve done something wrong. i will never accept failure because i will never stop trying.

• There May Be No Tomorrow

we can never be too sure. so, what we’ve got to do is live by Gandhi’s principle of living today as if it were our last.

i’ve always wanted to experience how this felt.

• Someone Else Will Always Have More

great. just what i needed. we shouldn’t envy them. rather, if ever they have something we don’t, we must always work hard to achieve those things.

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. -Abraham Lincoln

well, as i do not remember most of my dreams, this one is the weirdest of all those i can remember.

in conjuncture with the university elections yesterday, it was the scenario of the said dream.

what happened was that the Engineering Representative to the USC happened to be me. and, the fact that i wasn’t even a candidate is too suspicious. however, due to the fact the people were writing my name down instead of the other candidates, i won.

which is weird. haha. in real-life elections, this wouldn’t happen, or would it?

or this might mean that there will be a greater thing that will happen. i know there will be, but it doesn’t concern me or my being an engineering representative.

there is so much going on right now and this is the only year i’ve ever felt politics do so much – good or bad. i’ve had my fair share of disappointments and satisfactions regarding our political scenario. may it be small scale like the organization elections to a much wider scale of the university elections.

i am in the middle of things, people were persuading me to vote for them and some just don’t care about me and what power i have as a voter.

what disappointed me most is that people will really do anything to gain power, to take a position they know they don’t deserve to take and to embarrass others for self-fulfillment.

what’s the use of that anyway.

by writing this blog entry, i have realized what my dream wanted to tell me. it’s like, we never know what might happen with these elections. but one thing is for sure, they never turn out the way we expect them to be.

“Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.” – Franklin Pierce Adams

you can’t blame me for being a bit bitchy to you this afternoon. after all, i didn’t get enough sleep thinking of ways to pass our project on time.

and what did i get from you? data? that wasn’t sufficient enough. you didn’t even follow the randomized process. the data you gave wasn’t even enough. we ought to do 16 experiments as the whole run needed 32 observations.

and what were you doing? none. you didn’t even ask what to do next. you weren’t even present on our supposed waiting place. you didn’t even approach me the whole day and ask what more can you do for the project.

you clearly weren’t paying attention. there was no effort on your part. for what reasons, i do not know. i let the first time pass but, this, i don’t know how i’d remedy it.

so, i can’t help but not talk to you at all for it would ruin my mood coming into the exam. i wasn’t even able to prepare a whole lot for this exam because of this damn project.

anyway. i have to move on. i’ve got plenty of things to do than worry about this stuff. i am hoping for tomorrow to be a better day.

“It is better to keep a friend from falling than to help him up.”

i have a load of academic requirements needed to be done by today. oh, and i guess there won’t be sleep waiting for my by the bed. all i see on it is a massive amount of paper waiting to be read and a book needed to be solved.

but, hey, this is the work of a student.

i might as well finish and see if i can catch some sleep even for a minute or two. that would be the reason that i cannot make a decent blog entry tonight.

at least, i wrote an entry. haha.

Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun. – Colleen Barrett

it is when you don’t know that people appreciate you for who you are is the happiest / weirdest feeling i know i want to feel.

it is like people you have been with but not necessarily talked to starts a conversation with you involving an interest you share. you may not even believe that they do know you, by face or by name. when things like this happen, i know i’ve made such an impact that they would remember me. doesn’t that make you happy?

it is like when a person you look up to believes in the skill you have and even encourages you to do it. it may be that he sees something in you that you must let the world know of. it is like, others believing in your talent. you should follow suit by playing your heart out in ever game. doesn’t that make you happy?

it is like people telling you they admire the things you do and gives you enough reinforcement for you to continue on doing it. it looks like you’ve been doing your job and it would only be fair by giving more than what you’ve given. these people support you in the things you will do and will always give you constructive criticism for your work. they want you to achieve the best of your potentials. doesn’t that make you happy?

these different situations makes you feel that you’ve done something super special for these people to act the way they did.

Let someone else acknowledge your virtues -A Maori Proverb